


Take My Hand

by CelticTeddy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Afterlife, Car Accidents, Gen, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Mentions of Cancer, Non-Graphic Violence, Suicide Attempt, more like suicide ideation, non-graphic car crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21608494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticTeddy/pseuds/CelticTeddy
Summary: Three times Logan had a brush with Death and survived and one time he didn't.A Human Sides AU where Virgil and Patton are Life and Death and Patton is trying to keep Logan alive.In case you didn't see it in tags this fic deals with ideas of suicide and mentions cancer. There is also a car crash major character death.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 60





	Take My Hand

The first time Logan talked to Patton, it was a cold late-November night. The night found a man with wavy light brown hair walking over to stand about two feet away from Logan. His sky blue eyes focused on the dark water below. “It’ll be cold,” his voice was soft, gentle.

Caring.

Dark hazel eyes looked over. “My body would go into shock - I wouldn’t be able to stop the inevitable from happening.”

The man made a face of agreements. “It would hurt to hit the water from this height.” he countered.

His brow wrinkled a little. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you reasons to not do it this way, right now.” He didn’t look up from the water for a moment. When he did look up, he looked right at the other man and gave a soft, warm, smile. “My name is Patton.” He held out his hand.

He looked at the hand for a moment before slowly taking it and giving it a firm shake. “Logan.” The other man, Patton, just nodded. When Logan took his hand back, he found a folded piece of paper in his palm.

“Call me if you feel like this again,” Patton said with a bigger smile.

“How do you know I won’t do it after you leave?”

“Because you won’t.” was his simple response, a shrug accompanying the words. “You had a moment to think and you won’t. At least not here, not now.”

He leaned against the railing, watching Logan study him. The dark-haired man frowned a little when Patton didn’t leave the bridge, a small smile on his face still. With a huff, Logan turned and walked away. Patton’s posture relaxed as he watched him go.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Patton jumped at the voice whispered in his ear, letting out a startled scream of surprise. He turned to face the man behind him, clutching his chest. “Oh don’t be dramatic. You can’t have a heart attack.”

Patton pouted a little. “You’re no fun, Virge. You did scare me.” He turned to look back towards where Logan had gone. “It wasn’t his time. I had to do it.” He said softly. Eyes sad. Virgil gave a sad smile and hugged him for a moment.

“Come on, Pat, let’s go. It’s cold out here.”

XxXxXxX

The second time Logan talked to Patton, his mother had just died and he was in a depressive slump. He hadn’t been to his classes in a week, and he hadn’t been sleeping much. It wasn’t good for his mental health, that was certain.

He was wondering the streets, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. He felt something brush against his balled up fingers and slowly fished out whatever was in his pocket. He stared at the small piece of paper and frowned. He didn’t usually keep trash in his pocket, emptying them out whenever he got home. He was about to throw it in the upcoming garbage when he remembered the man from a few months before, giving him his number on a scrap of paper.

He unfolded the piece of paper and just saw a number written in loopy handwriting, now name or anything else. He swallowed hard and slowly pulled his phone out, putting the number in and hitting call. The phone had barely rung once when it was picked up.

“Hello, Logan.”

Logan frowned at that. “How did you know it was me?”

“Oh. I don’t give my number out much and you are the last one I gave my number to.” Logan could hear the smile in his voice. “What’s up?”

“You said…” he hesitated. “You said to call you if I...felt like that again.”

There was a sound of something dropping and muffled cursing in a voice that didn’t sound like Patton’s “Sorry, hang on. Sorry.” he heard some more muffled speech before he heard the sound of a door closing. “Sorry Logan, Caught me by surprise. You need to talk?”

“I….Honestly, I don’t even know why I called. We don’t know each other. We are strangers.” Logan sighed. “I have friends I can talk to.”

“Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger than friends. I’d be glad to be that stranger and talk to you if it means talking you off a ledge.”

“I am close to a park, on the ground. I wasn’t planning anything; just felt like I did that night. But I am not on a ledge.”

There was a weak laugh. “It’s a...a proverbial ledge” Patton said. “Do you want to talk about what is making you feel like this?”

Logan stopped walking and looked at the sky, blinking back tears. “My mother just died...We weren’t close but she was the only family I really had. I knew this was coming but it still..I wasn’t ready.” he sighed.

“She died from cancer, right?” Before Logan could ask how Patton knew that he kept going. “I’m sorry for your loss, but she wouldn’t want you to die because she did No parent wants that for their child.”

“No...I know that.” Logan whispered. “I just don’t know how to get out of this rut I seem to be stuck in.”

“It’s hard. When you lose someone, even if you didn’t feel close to them in life...sometimes you find out you were closer then you thought in death.” Patton said softly. “Sometimes it takes losing someone to realize how much they meant to you. Which is messed up, I know, but it’s the truth.”

Logan chewed his lip for a moment. “I suppose I can see why. Taking for granted what you thought would always be there.”

“Exactly!” Patton smiled. “And it can happen from the other end too. People who are dying can realize that there is more to live for, people that will miss them or people they will miss.”

“You are implying there is more after death.”

“I am saying what people feel who have almost died.” he countered. “But it stands. If you were to do something right now, there is a good chance that you would regret it when it was too late to take it back. And you don’t seem like a person who likes regrets.”

“I...Suppose that is true.” He nodded. “Thank you.”

Logan could hear the smile in Patton’s voice when he spoke. “So you aren’t feeling suicidal anymore?”

“I am still hurting but...I believe I can see the point in going on.”

“I’m glad to hear that Logan. Thank you for calling me.” His voice had taken on that same soft quality from when they first talked.

“Thank you for listening, Patton.”

“Always.”

Logan hung up the phone and made his way back to his home, thinking about the conversation he had just had. He didn’t feel better per se, but he didn’t feel like dying anymore and he supposed that was an improvement.

When Patton walked back into the man room, Virgil was standing there, arms crossed. “You know you aren’t supposed to be doing this.”

“It isn’t the right time.” He said softly, looking at Virgil sadly. “It isn’t supposed to happen yet.”

The other man just sighed and shook his head. “You shouldn’t get so attached to them...it only makes this harder on you then it has to be.”

Patton smiled sadly. “How can you not get attached? Everyone’s lives are so fascinating.”

XxXxXxX

The third time Logan interacted with Patton, he didn’t even realize it was Patton until long after the moment had passed.

This time found him actually on a ledge. Not with the intention of jumping but still with dark thoughts. 

He felt something against his back, almost like a hand, and heard a voice in his ear. “I’m getting your friend,” but when he turned to look he was alone. He shook his head and just looked down again. It wasn’t that far down. The things he had read in his books told him it was one of the fastest ways and relatively painless save for the last moment, provided you hit at the right velocity and with the right force.

His phone rang and he frowned. Who in the world would be calling him at this time of night? He pulled it out and frowned even more.

“Roman?”

“Hey! Lo, nice to hear your voice.” He sounded breathless, a little panicked.

“Is everything okay, Roman? It’s the middle of the night.”

“Ah...well this is embarrassing, but I had a dream about you -- not that kind of dream -- and it just made me want to check on you. How are you doing? You kinda vanished after your mom died….Which I totally get needing to be alone and all….Just...missed ya.”

Logan sighed. “Roman, it is two in the morning where you are.”

“And four in the morning where you are. Which is early, even for you. So since you answered, that must mean something is up. Want to talk?”

“I..I don’t really know what to say, Roman. I am just not sleeping well. I keep getting intrusive thoughts that I don’t want to act on but...They won’t go away.”

“You mean like Remus?” Roman snorted.

Logan rolled his eyes but smiled a little. “Not nearly as annoying.” He joked then let out a heavy sigh, swinging his legs over the edge and move to sit on the top of the roof instead of the ledge. He felt the air vibrate a little and swore the wind sighed but he knew it was the lack of sleep.

“I just haven’t been feeling up to snuff lately.” He admitted to Roman.

“I’m sorry. I should be back in town soon if you want to hang out.”

“I would like that very much Roman. But I will be fine. You should get some sleep. I know you have long days with filming.”

“I can manage a day with less sleep if it means helping my best friend out.” He smiled slightly. “Catch me up on what’s going on back home? Or I can tell you about my time on set. At least, what I’m allowed to talk about.” he laughed.

“I would like that. Tell me what it is like to work on a film set.”

They talked for a little over an hour, during which time Logan moved back to his own apartment and to his room. When Roman heard gentle snoring coming from the other end of the line he smiled and hung up, his feeling of unease from his dream gone. Logan would be okay.

XxXxXxX

The last time Logan met Patton he understood.

“Hi.” Patton gave him a small smile. 

“Patton…”

“That’s me!” The smile grew. “So you remember. That’s good, not everyone does right after. Or ever depending.” He shrugged.

“Remember?”

“Your life. You are dead, Logan.”

“I have gathered...Are you?”

“Not quite. I’m Death.” Logan’s brow wrinkled. “You were expecting someone tall and scary, maybe wearing all black. Something more like him?” He pointed to the man next to him who just gave a small wave. Logan nodded slowly. “Yeah, not many people picture Death as a smiling happy man. Virgil is life.” He laughed at Logan’s wide eyes.

“What’s up...You good Pat?” Patton nodded and the man, Virgil, turned and left in the blink of an eye. Logan focused back on Patton.

“I died? How? Was it…”

“No. I told you you wouldn’t.” His smile was sad again. “It was never your time...Do you really want to know how?” Logan nodded and Patton held his hand out. Logan slowly took it and the white room around them faded and he was at the scene of a car crash, Roman was being pulled carefully out of the passenger seat of Logan’s car and while Logan couldn’t see the drivers seat he knew the driver, which had been him, hadn’t been pulled out yet.

“You didn’t feel anything. And you are going to save the two teens who were in the other car...And Roman. If you hadn’t offered to drive him to the airport he would have died.”

Logan watched the scene for a moment before looking to Patton. “So if I had killed myself--”

“Three people would have died instead of one. I’m sorry you had to be the o-.”

Logan shook his head and cut him off. “I’m not.” He gave a half-smile. “Roman is my best friend and I would rather die than him. He has a lot he wants to accomplish still.”

“So do you.” Patton laughed.

“But I’m dead.”

“And Death-in-training.” He grinned. “My time is almost up and I picked you as the next Death. So I get to train you and then you will be doing what I did. Making sure the right person dies at the right time to make the balance of life and death right. And putting up with Virgil and his dumb ass ideas of what that balance is.”

The scene was gone and Logan found himself in a cozy looking cottage at the edge of a forest. “Don’t worry, you can change it after I leave. This is just what I found I liked.” Patton took him into the main room and sat down in a chair.

“Today we can relax...tomorrow I have to start teaching you.”

“You are a very strange Death.”

“I know.” Patton laughed happily. “It really made my after-life exciting. Hopefully, it does for you too.”

Logan sat down in a chair and thought for a long moment and then his eyes went wide. "This is how you knew my name and how my mother died!"

Patton just burst into laughter that brightened the room and made it seem alive and safe.

Which while strange for Death, Logan supposed, 'safe' seemed like a very good thing for Death to be.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was partly based off a tiktok I saw and partly based off a story I wrote back in high school where death (and life) change hands over time and they get to pick the next death/life to take over after them.
> 
> As always please leave kudos/comments please and thank you.
> 
> Feel free to chat with me on tumblr at HUfflepupXFox


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